My Married Life

So there I was, in England preparing to marry a girl that I met while she was visiting here in the US. I only knew her for a few weeks but I had decided that I didn’t want to live without her. You see, I had a little bit of a past. I was married once but I had the biggest surprise of my life, she met a woman at her gym and she seemed to forget about me. That’s right, her true feelings came out and she left me for her new girlfriend.

I lied, I’ve married twice but the second one doesn’t count. While in Las Vegas I had a little too much to drink with my best friend. My best friend is a beautiful woman; we had dated on and off but the relationship was too tumultuous to be healthy. I won’t blame everything on her but I swear we were on a break!

My sister and three of my friends came with me to England for the wedding. My folks also made the trip but they didn’t hit it off too well with my future in-laws. They had a big disagreement about who was going to for what at the rehearsal dinner. I must admit that her parents drink a little too much.

Just before the wedding was to take place my “second” wife (the marriage was annulled) showed up for the wedding. It was awesome! She really was my best friend and I wanted her to be part of the happiest day of my life, it was unbelievably euphoric! The only one who was missing was a dear friend who couldn’t make the trip because she was eight months pregnant and couldn’t fly (You wouldn’t believe who the father was…that’s another whole episode) although she was there in spirit, oh yeah….and also there on a cell phone.

The most embarrassing thing happened during our vows, you probably guessed it, I said the wrong name. Can you believe it? I know it sounds like something out of a stupid sitcom but there I was with egg on my face. Long story short, my fiancé ran off, wouldn’t talk with me and after 40 more episodes I married my best friend after she had my baby out of wedlock. My life story is hard to believe, isn’t it?