Gonna' Get Midieval On Your ***!

With my oldest daughter, Dani, joining her friend and his family on a trip to Busch Gardens, Barbara and I decided to take the day and trek across the state line and fall back about 500 years to the Maryland Renaissance Festival. I’ve been a few times before but I’ve never encountered a crowd as large as this past Saturday. The place was jammed with actor-wanna-be’s dressed in medieval costumes and to top it off, it was Pirate weekend! Not that it was a bad thing, it actually was quite fun and even my little Barb decided to rent a Maiden costume.

Someone tell me who this woman is, what she is doing and why she encouraged me to take her picture (yes, that's her legs behind her head).

Of course there was royalty at the fair!

The fair should last a few more weeks, if you have a day I suggest you check it out especially of you’ve never thrown axes, knives, shot arrows, eaten a huge turkey leg and been yelled at by common street whores. Huzzah!

7th Grade Essay

Essay
By
Jimmy Lawson

Mrs. Henderson’s 7th Grade Class
Period 3

To Kill a Mockingbird
By Harper Lee

As you finished reading To Kill a Mockingbird what message do you think the author, Harper Lee, wanted the reader to take with them? Your essay must be at minimum of 300 words.

When my wonderful and talented teacher strongly suggested that we read To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, published in 1960 (the same year my mother was born), I thought, “What a wonderful idea! There is nothing better for a 12 year-old student to do with his free time than read a wonderful book like To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, published 1960. (62 words)

As I read To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, published in 1960, it took me back to a wonderful time in my life when I was a young boy. I was watching an episode of Charlie’s Angels where all three of the angels were arrested and thrown into a women’s prison where they all had to take showers together and a man who was a guard sprayed them with a hose but he wasn’t a real guard because he was hired by one of the bad guys that the angels were trying to catch so they went undercover and got arrested so they could be in the prison posing as prisoners to catch the bad guys, it was really wonderful. The leading lady in To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, reminding me of Farrah Fawcett when she was trying to make the warden of the prison fall in love for her because the leading lady in To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, was a lady too. Many ladies like to try to get men to fall in love with them, sometimes they don’t even care what the men look like, but if he has a lot of money she probably thinks he is really handsome. (208 words)

The message that Harper Lee who wrote To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee, published in 1960, wants us to take with us is men and women should try to be nice and wonderful to each other. Bosely was always wonderful to each of the angels and that is a good way to be. (54 words)

Do I get extra credit for 324 words?

My Married Life

So there I was, in England preparing to marry a girl that I met while she was visiting here in the US. I only knew her for a few weeks but I had decided that I didn’t want to live without her. You see, I had a little bit of a past. I was married once but I had the biggest surprise of my life, she met a woman at her gym and she seemed to forget about me. That’s right, her true feelings came out and she left me for her new girlfriend.

I lied, I’ve married twice but the second one doesn’t count. While in Las Vegas I had a little too much to drink with my best friend. My best friend is a beautiful woman; we had dated on and off but the relationship was too tumultuous to be healthy. I won’t blame everything on her but I swear we were on a break!

My sister and three of my friends came with me to England for the wedding. My folks also made the trip but they didn’t hit it off too well with my future in-laws. They had a big disagreement about who was going to for what at the rehearsal dinner. I must admit that her parents drink a little too much.

Just before the wedding was to take place my “second” wife (the marriage was annulled) showed up for the wedding. It was awesome! She really was my best friend and I wanted her to be part of the happiest day of my life, it was unbelievably euphoric! The only one who was missing was a dear friend who couldn’t make the trip because she was eight months pregnant and couldn’t fly (You wouldn’t believe who the father was…that’s another whole episode) although she was there in spirit, oh yeah….and also there on a cell phone.

The most embarrassing thing happened during our vows, you probably guessed it, I said the wrong name. Can you believe it? I know it sounds like something out of a stupid sitcom but there I was with egg on my face. Long story short, my fiancé ran off, wouldn’t talk with me and after 40 more episodes I married my best friend after she had my baby out of wedlock. My life story is hard to believe, isn’t it?

Time to Vote!

Over the past few months I have thoroughly enjoyed my elementary (albeit devoted) attempts at blogging here on ActorMann. For the last year or so I have checked in to see what The Follow Spot was reporting and got a pretty big kick out of what I read. While on The Follow Spot I discovered a link to BruDogHaven, a blog of an old dear friend, Antonio Bullock.

Originally I was interested in the photos that were posted on BruDogHaven. They are scanned pictures of Polaroids that were taken over the last years that the West End Dinner Theater was open. I enjoyed going through the collection trying to find myself and other fellow performer/friends. (I remember when the West End opened and each cast signed the walls downstairs on closing nights. It was so sad when the walls were painted over and years of signatures were lost.). But I digress, because of my relationship with Mr. Bullock and the new direction of his blog, I now would like to officially give my support to BruDogHaven in his journey to win the Big Blogger contest on The Follow Spot.

I urge the readers of Actormann to email Thefollowspot@aol.com and vote for Antonio Bullock and BruDogHaven. All votes/emails must be submitted between Thursday 09/14/06 3:00 p.m. EST – Friday 09/15/06 midnight. Hey America, either you’re with him or you’re against him.

Oh, what to do????

High School??? Or football???

Who in their right mind would schedule a Senior Parents Coffee on the September 11’s fifth anniversary and the Redskin’s opener on Monday Night Football? Oh yeah, that’s right, I know, it was West Springfield High School where my lovely daughter Dani is a senior.

Dilemma – do I trek to the high school at 7:00 p.m. and join the parents (who obviously are not football fans), or do I stay home at home, sitting in my boxers with a bag of cheese curls in one hand and the remote in the other? You’re right, I’m a dad first and a football fan second, off to the school I hiked (it’s easier to walk then trying to find a parking space).

For those of you who have yet to have a senior in high school this is the “make it or break it” year. The school’s guidance administration put on a very informative program, so informative that twice I forgot that Portis and Moss might be been scoring touchdowns at the time.

The parents listened to presentations on:
All Night Grad Party - The seniors are kept in one location from 11:00 p.m –5: a.m. the night after graduation. They have casinos with play money, dancing, food, and prizes from iPods & TV’s to necessities for their college dorm rooms. It’s a great idea that was started a good while ago; the drunken driving deaths on graduation night have been severely reduced. I remember my All Night Grad Party; we hitched up Bessie to the surrey, rode out to Ol’ Doc Pritchard’s place and tipped his outhouse after imbibing in some of daddy’s corn mash. Third grade was the best four years of my life.
The College Application Process – That’s right, now’s the time to decide which thirty schools we’ll be applying to. Timing is everything when it comes to applying, when to complete your application, when to get your transcripts in, when to get your essays completed and when to send the obligatory $300 palm greasing fee to the Dean of Admissions. It’s good to see that some things never change.
Scholarships and Paying for College – What??? Paying for college??? Now I get it…I have to mortgage my house, work a third job and start pulling tricks just to be able to afford whatever school where my precious baby gets accepted. I can understand mortgaging my crib (yeah, I can talk the lingo) and getting a third job but pulling tricks, again??? I gave that up in the late 90’s when I got tired of waking up in Hollywood bedrooms of the rich and famous and not knowing if it was Liza (with a Z) laying on my arm or Snuffleupagus from Sesame Street, (Snuffle did tip well). Hey, parents will do what they have to do. Does anyone know where I can purchase a pair of short shorts in size 42?

All in all it was a very eye-opening evening. It’ll be a fast paced, event filled year and it’ll be over before we know it. But our investment in my little Dani will be well worth it,…someone’s got to take care of me when my money maker gets put on the shelf, right? The Redskins? They were able to lose without my help. Once again, it’s good to see that some things never change.

No Name Is Too Weird!

Keep those team names coming in! I must admit, there have been some good suggestions but if you’d like to be the General Manager (on paper, there is no work involved on your part) then get those names in! My fantasy team is lousy, can your new name turn it around???

"Name My Team" Contest!

The Chargers before the big game.

I know that most of the readers of Actormann are “true blue” sports fanatics. It’s well known fact many performers, actors, singer, dancers, choreographers, etc., spend most of their “off-stage” time in front of their 56 inch flat screen. Most of them have the full NFL season package on their cable ands are glued in their stratolounger keeping track of both the AFC & the NFC. In that regard, I’ll let you in on my secret of fantasy football.

I have been in Fantasy sport leagues for the last five or six years, either in football or baseball. It all started when I worked at PCIA. A few guys in the office asked me if I wanted to join their league. My testosterone kicked into overdrive and I ponied up my $100 bucks to join the league for the season. I nee to state right here that out of all of the leagues I have played in I have never won a single cent back. Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of opportunities to make some very good cash at the end of the season but for some reason your team has to win to make the bucks. My team, unfortunately, have not fallen into that category.

A year ago, a handful of my co-workers and me created a Football Fantasy League and named it the All Smack Talk Fantasy Football League. That’s right, if you own a team in the league you are expected to be able to serve up some nasty smack talk. The first year I was asked to be Commissioner of the league. You’d think that as commissioner I’d be able to take advantage of my position and at least take second place if not first, Damn these morals!!!!

We just started the league for this year with the first games starting last Thursday. I felt that I had a pretty strong team this year with Matt Hasselbeck as my starting QB, Sean Alexander and Cadillac Williams as my starting Running backs. Chris Chambers and Darrell Jackson are my wide receivers, Tony Gonzalez my tight end (okay lads, yes I said tight end), Mike Vanderjagt is my kicker and my defense and special teams are the Jaguars. This all-star team should have scored a total of at least 100 points. But nooooo, they scored an impressive 51 points. 51 points!!!!

Looks like Jim and the Crushers are tied for second place after the first game of the season. Here’s your challenge: I am looking for a new name for my team and this is your opportunity to name the team. I am looking for a name that will give one of two impressions. 1. A name that will put the fear of God into the other teams, or 2. A name that will appropriately show just what kind of a low scoring team we are.

The name I now have is the Crushers. Yes, I know, a little embarrassing but they are the Crushers. I’m waiting, what are your suggestions? The winner will be named General Manager of the team and a press release will be posted on the All Smack Talk Fantasy Football League with quotes form the winner (you)!

Let’s hear ‘em, send ‘em in!

Save me! Save Me!

Did you hear? Did you hear? The Wizard of Blog (Mark Minnick) has thrown a surprise to the blogging world and is accepting votes for winners to be replaced by those who have been deleted (me).

All you have to do is send an email to thefollowspot@aol.com and write “I vote for Mary to be replaced with Jim” or “I vote for Tina to be replaced with Jim” or “I vote for Antonio to be replaced with Jim”.
Vote ASAP and tell all of your friends to do the same!

"Vote For Me and All of Your Wildest Dreams Will Come True" Pedro/Napolean

I must ask all of the ActorMann readers to send an email to TheFollowSpot@aol.com and vote for Jim/ActorMann. If you’re not familiar with the Big Blogger contest, it’s a great way to have some “bloggin’” fun. It will also ensure the lifelong happiness of my three wonderful children:

Nellie, Bootsie and Lil' Sis want you to vote for Jim!

Take Me Out To The Ballgame!

What a great night! Last night Dani, my brother Bill and my buddy Doug and I headed to the Metro to catch the Nats game at RFK

On the way to the game we met many riders who were also heading to the Redskins game.

When we got to the game and there wasn't a huge contengency of National fans there. We wanted to get four seats together which wasn’t a problem since a major league baseball team who is in last place at the end of August doesn’t get a great draw. The sweetheart of a lady in the ticket window sold us centerfield seats for $3 each, talk about a deal. It was more expensive to ride the Metro than it was to get into the game. Once we got into the stadium we found great seats down close to the field because the ushers weren’t checking the tickets. There was a total of about 20,000 people there so we could pretty much sit where we wanted.

The Nats were playing the Philadelphia Phillies, they had already last the last three games to them. The game was pretty fun to watch except when the Phillies took a 4 – 2 lead late in the game. In unaccustomed fashion the Nats tied it up in the bottom of the ninth. All 300 of us who had stayed were going ape. Extra innings – The Phillies scored a run in the top of the tenth and about 150 got up to leave. Unbelievable, the Nats came back in the bottom of the tenth with two to win the game. Sorry, Tina!

What a bargain, four seats for $12 and if you don’t spend $40 per person on food and beer then it’s a better bargain than dinner theater.